I've started and stopped several posts filled with more words. They will get published eventually I'm certain. But this week has been an emotional roller coaster...I want to try and keep posting but right now I don't have the energy to share more than a few words so I'll let the images speak. These photos of life up here in the field in northern BC...they show the best. They don't show the 36 hours of hell as my graduate student and I fought for the life of one of these caribou who had some strange reaction to a treatment (vets too busy to help, John out in the bush looking for sites)...they don't show the anxiety of very late-born calves and what that means to how much data we can collect this year (we only have 1 calf on the ground so far...so late)...they don't show the cringe as we (john and I and the graduate student) realize technicians show up in a week...they don't show the political struggle to work up here amongst government, First Nations, and industry...they don't show the week of pure misery after I picked up a nasty bug in White Horse, Yukon at a caribou conference...they don't show the emotional frustration at our co-principal investigator (the graduate student's adviser) who is fighting us every step of the way and making life miserable for us and the graduate student...
They show the pretty...the good moments...they show an unbalanced side of life. I think it's important to remember that. But...oh how important it also is to celebrate and focus on the good. That's why I'm grateful for my camera. For some reason I try so hard to hold on to the bad...a cycle I am working on breaking out of. These pictures...they are a concrete reminder of the good...
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| Mountains south of Chetwyn...taken on my drive up in early May. |
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| Stone sheep ram alongside road in Stone Mountain Provincial Park, BC...passing through on way to conference in White Horse, Yukon Territories. Such a beautiful part of BC. |
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| Another stone sheep... |
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| Basecamp...when spring finally hit, the colors were intense...this is my 'walking' field until we hit the woods with the caribou. |
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| Wood bison along road on way to White Horse. |
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| Not sure where this was...but on the trip back from White Horse an hour before dusk. I'm in love with this photo. |
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| We saw dozens of black bears on way to and from White Horse...foraging along the road. I must admit to being a 'tourist' with this photo...walked a little close! |
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| Our first calf...Raven's male calf that we named Rusty. Our neighbors here at basecamp are amazing folks. They took care of our caribou all winter. They have 2 little boys and a brand new girl. The oldest boy, Spencer, wanted to name his sister Rusty. Luckily the parents chose Heidi instead. So we named this little guy Rusty for Spencer...he was pretty tickled by that. |
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| Rusty and his mom, Raven. 12 hours old. |
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| Rusty -- 20 hours old. (don't worry, their legs straighten right up as they get older and stronger!) |
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| Rusty -- 48 hours old. |
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| A vision from last night...the field beside us... |
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| Henna...belly bulging with a baby. Hopefully soon.... |
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| Rusty -- 48 hours old. |
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| Visitors one morning...5 of them. This one was my favorite... |
Beautiful photographs, sorry about the harshness of the world.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the sentiment. My harshness may be different than others, but no more difficult to bear. Which is part of the reason to focus on the good rather than the bad...we all have our own version of bad. As you can see...that's a work in progress for me!
DeleteI've been thinking of you lots this past week. Now that I've been up in Northern BC I can picture the area you are in and know that wilderness you are surrounded by.
ReplyDeleteI hope the views you shared with us continue to help you find balance - you know how crucial those are for me in my life's balance. My stresses are, I think, less intense, but it is nature and my appreciation of it that allows me to breathe easy when those stresses get to me. I hope you find the same grace.
Your photos are stunning.
When we drove past Muncho Lake Hot Springs on our way to White Horse, I thought of you...thinking maybe that was your destination on your trip a few years back?? We work quite a bit south of there...basically the stretch from Fort Nelson down to Chetwyn. So more in the 'industrial' belt...although the alpine areas certainly are beautiful!! At base camp, we are about 50km north of Fort St John and it's more like the plains here. Pretty in its own way but definitely not the stunning, mountainous beauty of the areas a bit further north and a bit further south.
DeleteWhile it often is, sometimes nature just isn't enough to still the brain and relax the body...I have other tools at my disposal but not all are available in this field living situation...so I'm fumbling through it all right now trying to find what works out here and what doesn't. It's all a process!
Liard hot springs were definitely one of our destinations, and Muncho Lake is where we spent the husband's 40th birthday. I enjoyed the entire drive though, and do know what you mean about the industrial belt versus the alpine, versus the high plains of northern ranch country. And then the west side is back into coastal mountains. Loved it all.
DeleteGlad you are exploring your other tools.
You have a beautiful and unique life. Hold on to that when you're down.
ReplyDeleteI try. Sometimes, as crazy as it may sound, it's hard to see, or maybe saying hard to focus on is the right way to put it...the beautiful through all the other crap. It requires work and effort at times and sometimes wallowing in the bad stuff is easier than working at the good stuff. Never better, but easier. One of the things that I keep working on...
Delete“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always.”I just pinned that quote. I’m trying to stay aware of that. I read your posts and what you go through. I just met two women in their 60’s—friends since 8th grade—they were laughing and talking on a bus tour of Cape Cod. They seemed so happy. Then I found out they had both lost their lifelong husbands within the last few years. You can’t see what people have been through. Be kind seems like the only thing we can do sometimes. Be kind and look for the beauty that is here. Your pictures capture that. When there’s nothing to be done, look for beauty. Even in your photos there are feelings. Little Rusty on unsteady legs, not yet sure of this world. Pregnant Henna ready to give birth and feel light again. The mountains, so beautiful you almost can’t stand it. You have such a good eye for the emotion-evoking pictures. Keep up that with your writing.
ReplyDeletethanks for these words Wanda. And thank you for saying that my pictures capture emotion. They capture emotion for me, but hearing that it extends to others who see them...well, that's the whole point of taking/sharing photos in my opinion.
Deleteat the risk of sounding like pollyanna, it has to help to be surrounded by such beauty while dealing with all the stresses of field life... seriously, just taking a walk through the park by my house can lift my spirits, i can only imagine how good the air must smell up there...
ReplyDeletei'm definitely no tyingt to diminish your struggles, because not one of them sounds fun in the least, but oh my heart just melts when i see rusty on his spindly legs... sometimes you just have to hang on to the glimpses of good to get through the bad.
here's hoping things can come more in to balance for you while you're in the field.
it does help to be surrounded by all this beauty...you are so right (and since I have no idea who pollyanna is, no risk of you sounding like her!) But it also comes with a price...not having any comforts of home...not having space and time by myself...something that I need almost more than air to stay mentally sane. THOSE are the checks and balances that I'm struggling through... and part of why I put up this post. To force me to look through the pictures I've taken and to remember those moments...to share those moments so others (as you have done) give me that gentle push to remember the beauty and the good. It helps when sometimes I can't do it on my own. Thank you for that.
DeleteIn following suit with your intention, I'll focus on the good here--the vistas and sites you experience with your work are absolutely amazing. I almost ache with the beauty that you shared in your photographs. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lindsey! It's a different sort of world up here and I'm glad that I'm finally capable of sharing bits and pieces of it with you.
DeleteYour pictures are absolutely stunning! I hope that you can get some of that yoga balance you had before you left for the field through all that natural beauty that surrounds you. I'm sorry you picked up that nasty bug. Being sick magnifies rough times and makes them seem even worse. I hope things start to flow more smoothly with your work, and that you make a quick recovery from the bug you caught.
ReplyDeleteah, but you know the Fort St John area well Kristie...not everything is beauty! ;) that's why i avoid 'town' as much as possible!
DeleteI think the bug I picked up was everywhere up here...they called it the 120 day cough. I was pretty miserable with flu-like symptoms for about a week, then just exhausted and coughing for another week (but functional to some degree) and then just coughing for about another 10 days (but energy levels returned and I could start taking walks etc). Pretty much over it now although that cough creeps back in on occasion! I haven't been that sick in years. Grateful it hit before we were in full-intensive-mode field work!
Well, this is strange. I started receiving your replies via email, because I subscribed after commenting. I hopped back over here to read your words, and found my comment had vanished. Bummer. Did you get it and it just didn't show up here, or did you not receive it at all?
ReplyDeleteI didn't get it...double checked my inbox just in case my sleep-deprived brain wasn't remembering accurately..and nope. Sorry about that...I've not seen that happen before...especially since the 'subscribe' part worked. very strange...
DeleteWeird. I'm guessing I moved too quickly through security words and something went wrong there. Well, know I have been thinking of you. Rusty's legs at 20 hours absolutely melt my heart. I'm feeling a little off balance myself lately and it has been nice to come here and revisit these photographs. Thank you for sharing this beauty you've found.
DeleteOr blogger had a hiccup...very likely!
DeleteAll these little guys when born would break your heart. At least they do mine. ;)
Sorry to hear that you've been off balance lately...I wonder...if writing/publishing a book is anything like publishing a scientific article. Elated to be finished and have it out but sort of stalled with working on the next great thing? I hope you've found your center since...and glad my pictures could help give you some peace.
Yes, I believe there is a similarity. I'll try and keep these next things smaller and more reasonable and hope they lead to something great one day. One step at a time, right? And since I'm here... One more look at these photos. ; )
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