But instead, I find myself in that 'end of year' frenzy. You know the one? Where there is this 'random' date looming that society has told us represents (or could represent) a brand new start? This is all very magical and on some days late in the year even feels a bit empowering. But I seem to look at this date from the other side of the coin...it's not the start of a new year but the end of an old one. And thus all the things on my 'to do' list for this year should be accomplished. This way of thinking is of course ridiculous and in fact, reeks of faulty logic. It's an expectation that automatically sets one up for failure. And yet every year at this time of year I find myself in the same panicked mental state because my 'to do' list seems to loom just as large today as it did 11.5 months ago. Which is not true of course. I've accomplished a ton this year, but for every accomplishment, it seems 5 more tasks are added back.
So here I sit trying to juggle crossing 'just one more thing' off the work to-do list, trying to finish up the final hand-made gifts yet finding very little joy in it this year, trying to add in some form of motion each day even if it is just a 15 minute walk, and trying but failing to maintain my sanity through it all.
And so I've decided that I'll take a break from this space until that magical date arrives allowing me to have the illusion of a clean slate. And when I return, I'm going to work hard at turning this space into the vision I had 7 months ago when I transitioned over here. To not just post the 'polished' finished objects. But to be more open, honest, and well...unpolished. I have some ideas...we'll see where they take me.
In the meantime, I wish you all a happy holiday season. I hope that you all get to spend time with the most important people in your lives as this year comes to a close.
_ _ _ _ _
Now playing: Carol of the Bells played by ThePianoGuys
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It can be very stressful this time of year. Have a lovely break. Online life shouldn't be a chore. Happy Christmas, Rachel.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I got into the frenzy at RealJob and at home and had to just stop, sit, and think. I hope you're finding peace and wish you happy holidays too!
ReplyDeleteenjoy your time away, have a wonderful peaceful holiday season, and i'll look forward to your posts in the new year!
ReplyDelete-melissa
Breathe deeply.
ReplyDeleteI think you and I shall be joining each other in a word journey in 2013 - let's talk.
~kate
I'm doing the same Rachel. Have a wonderful holiday season and a blessed New Year! xoxo
ReplyDeleteHappy Holidays to you and family and best wishes for 2013!
ReplyDeleteI always do the same, yes. But reflecting on those accomplishments is the best part. Realizing what you've finished is an empowering thing! And there's always next year, for those unfinished things. Goals are an evolving thing, I think. I miss you, friend! I wish you a very happy end of 2012 and a marvelous beginning of 2013.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your break, Rachel, and I will look forward to reading your blog in the New Year!
ReplyDeleteOh no... The frenzy. I've been working on managing expectations. I hate that feeling of asking too much of myself, getting much done, but not -all-, and therefore feeling let down. No good...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are taking a break. I hope you are listening to Lyle Lovett with your feet up.
Thank you for stopping by Rachel. I want to wish you a wonderful holiday season and a happy 2013. I love the start of a new year - the dreams, possibilities, hopes.... I never cease to wonder at where time takes me. Hugs! Enjoy your blog break.
ReplyDeleteRaina
Oh yeah, I think your word this year is very well chosen after reading this!
ReplyDeleteI love your thrummed hat.